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, by Casey Watson
Free Download , by Casey Watson
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Product details
File Size: 1492 KB
Print Length: 309 pages
Publisher: HarperElement (October 13, 2011)
Publication Date: October 13, 2011
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
Language: English
ASIN: B005IH030M
Text-to-Speech:
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#113,286 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
If you want to read a case study involving psychology and science, this is not the book for you. If you want a hard-hitting documentary, this is also not the book for you. This is a book from a foster MOTHER (not a doctor), involving her family's attempt to help children who are broken, those children that so many others have given up on helping. There were instances I thought she was being too gentle, as did her family, but obviously the "normal" ways of discipline have not worked. A completely different approach is called for, to try to sway these children from a final disintegration and life in an institution. Some, sadly, can't be helped (I grew up knowing one such child). What I see this book doing, besides entertaining the reader, is opening the general reader up to what life is like for these abused, traumatized children and what life can be like for the families trying to help them find a place in this world. These are stories about real children and real families and a system that is struggling to help as many as possible. I didn't agree with everything she did, but I also wasn't living in that situation. Many ideas were ones I discovered during my years of providing child day care or working with people who had Alzheimer's, dementia or mental illness. I found the pace of the story steady, not too rapid or boringly slow. The author does like to use "college" words when a simple one would be just as effective. Some of the British colloquialisms were not familiar to me, but I managed to find most in the dictionary if I couldn't figure it out from the conversation. I recall very few, if any, typos or awkward structuring. I found this to be a great read and would recommend it to my friends and family.
Casey Watson and her husband Mike (psuedonyms) take in, for one year, a profoundly damaged boy and work miracles in his life. This is a gripping story, at times very difficult and painful to read. Throughout the book I was appalled by how dreadfully "the system" had failed this child and his biological siblings. When a mother sells her five-year-old into prostitution in order to procure drugs, ALL of her children need to be removed to a safe place by social services, not just one of them! The sluggish responses and lack of advocacy for these children, documented in painstaking detail throughout the book, are truly horrifying. Clearly the birthmother's home was not a safe environment for any child; why the lack of appropriate action on the part of responsible adults? Why the lengthy unsupervised visits with a violent, drug-addicted parent? It made me so angry to read of this child's unnecessary suffering.Once involved, the Watson family provides the basics: shelter, routine, stability, affection, fun, commitment, caring. And what an amazing person Justin turns out to be, as he begins to heal, and then to thrive, in the safe environment they create for him.It surprised me very much to learn that a child as troubled as Justin was initially, with a history of violently attacking people, was not at any time under the care of a psychiatrist. The foster mother/author was left to deal with terrifying situations alone and unaided, such as (SPOILER ALERT!!!) being threatened with a knife on one occasion, and a staplegun on another. At no point were the police or mental health professionals on the scene, and I found that odd. It also struck me as odd that the Watsons were willing to risk introducing a dog into their family, given Justin's history of animal cruelty.The family's strength and resilience were amazing. And Ms. Watson tells her story with no smugness; the tone is humble, not at all self-congratulatory. I was filled with admiration for how they bounced back from crises, their honesty and optimism in the face of very discouraging realities, to say the least.The book is both disturbing and inspiring. It agitated me greatly to read it, but at the same time, I am very grateful people like Casey and Mike Watson exist. Without such people, without their love and courage, the world would be a much sadder place.
***SPOILERS AHEAD***I have so much to say about this book, I don’t even know where to start. Mostly it’s about my opinion about Justin’s whole situation and how I feel about the welfare system, more than it is about the book.Firstly, I have to say I hugely admire the patience which Casey and Mike had in dealing with Justin and his outbursts and general terrible behaviour. Though, I don’t think Casey is as noble as she makes out to be. The start of the book (after the first chapter), as well as throughout, it annoyed me how often Casey makes Justin’s story about herself, her feelings, how well (or not) she deals with his behaviour, how wonderful her husband and kids are, what a hyperactive person she is,etc, etc, and how often she pats herself on the back for a job she feels she did well. To me, it took a lot of the focus off Justin when I had to sit through pages of Casey either beating herself up about how she dealt with a situation (but then more pages on EVERYONE else telling her how well she dealt with it), or her feeling terrific about calming Justin down, encouraging him, and so on (which I applaud, but don’t feel like having her analyse herself for pages on end).You see, I’ve read quite a few of Cathy Glass’s books, and she has such a humble way of telling her stories about children she fostered, without placing too much focus on herself or her family. She includes her feelings and her kids in her stories, but doesn’t constantly tell the reader how perfect her family is, or talk too much about herself and her perfect home. She shares her hands-on techniques and thus I always feel I can learn something from her. I also feel welcome in her home through her books, as I already know her routines and what to expect from the way she runs her household. So yes, I’ve seen this in another of Casey Watson’s books that I’ve read, and it also bothered me then, how she makes the story about herself and her perfect children.Also, all the grammar errors in this book were very annoying.Justin is a very disturbed child and I felt sorry for him. I detested what his mother did to him and his siblings. As a mother of two, it broke my heart over and over again each time his mother let him down or hurled abuse at him. Honestly though, for all my griping earlier in my review, I must admit that I admire people like the Watsons who open their home to such a badly damaged child, and who see it through all the way to his next placement. I would never be able to put up with the behaviour of such a child, his background notwithstanding.I felt that the welfare system let Justin down badly (no surprises there). Justin needed more than the Watson’s help. He needed a psychologist, counselling and therapy, and I was quite surprised that no-one suggested it. Anger management classes aren’t enough for a child such as Justin. Even at the end of the book Casey admits that at seventeen Justin is still not a well-adjusted child; now living in a children’s home, working as a gardener. I just can’t imagine there is much of a future for him. How will he be treating his own wife and children? Is he still abusing animals like he did with Kieron’s dog? Is he still taking pleasure in holding little children’s heads under water? This kid needed serious help; much more than a points system used by the Watsons could offer him. I viewed it as a temporary Band-Aid to improve his behaviour while he’s living with them, but how did it help him after he left their home?Clearly, it made very little difference once moved on.I think as much as Casey sugar-coated the ending, the fact that Justin’s last placement didn’t work after two years tells me that he needed more than what the Watsons could offer him, but that he was failed by, firstly, his mother, and then by a welfare system that didn’t afford him the psychological help he needed. I also didn’t buy that when they were on vacation, and Justin ran into a palm tree, his behaviour changed for the better, for the rest of their vacation (after a horrendous start). Was slamming into a palm tree really all it took to set him straight? I can’t help thinking what that suggests.It was a good read seeing how the Watsons opened their home and their hearts to him. Once I started reading I couldn’t put it down until I had finished, and read into the morning hours. The ending just left me feeling sad; though Casey and her family did all they could for Justin. What a miserable state our world is in, knowing that this sort of bad “parenting†(such as what we see with Justin’s mother and many others like her) will continue through generations onwards.
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